Long-time readers will feel no surprise in my belief in and usage of affirmations and visualizations! Daniela and I enjoyed the sort of deep, meaningful conversation I could have all day, and I hope you like it, too.

Of course, I have additional stories and many resource links to share! I’ll add the video timecode for your reference.

6:18
In the 1990s and 2000s, I listened to Wayne Dyer’s talks and books on CD as I commuted 30 miles to and from my thrival job in downtown Atlanta.

In his book called You’ll See It When You Believe It: The Way to Your Personal Transformation, Dyer wrote about how we have to change our belief system BEFORE we get the manifestation of our dream.

I met Dr. Dyer and he signed my copy of this book at a conference 10 days after my precious daddy passed away.

I didn’t think I’d get to speak to Wayne that day. A crowd of people were circled around him after his lecture. He said he could only meet people for a few minutes as he had to catch a plane.

It seemed like the crowd parted and kind of pushed me forward until I was right there, face to face with him.

I’m surprised I could even say anything to him, given the emotions I felt.

I told Wayne that I’d just lost my dad, and it meant a lot to me to be there with him that day. He surprised me with a hug and said “no one ever dies.”

As an aside to this story, I was wearing a bracelet that day that I think picked Wayne’s polo shirt when we hugged. I felt bad about that for years.

When I told this story to a friend, they said that if my bracelet did pick Wayne’s shirt, he would probably have viewed that as evidence that his work was valuable and that he had made a real connection with me.

Two other books from Wayne Dyer that made a big impression on me were The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way and Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling.

On 6 April 2006, I was helping a person who had car trouble when something extraordinary and enchanting happened, as I wrote in my journal the next day:

On the ground was a magnificent butterfly, which I learned in a later Google search was an Eastern Tiger Swallowtail. I wondered if it was alive because it was so still at first. When it moved, I began to wonder if it was hurt. [I was afraid the person I was helping would step on the butterfly.] Fortunately, she didn’t.

The whole time that I watched the butterfly, I was thinking of Wayne Dyer’s story of a magical encounter with a butterfly. He talked about it in his newest book “Inspiration”, which I recently read, and on the PBS special about the same. The whole book is about living in spirit and being of service. Here I was, being of service to someone who needed it, and I had a beautiful butterfly before me as a symbol of it. After all, I was inspired to act on the impulse to help this stranger, who turned out to be my neighbor.

The wind blew and made the butterfly’s wings stand straight up. He still didn’t fly away, so I thought more that he might be hurt. Drew told me to tap his wings (his meaning the butterfly, not Drew!). I told Drew a little about Wayne Dyer getting a butterfly to sit on his finger, so Drew said to put my finger down there and see if the butterfly would jump it on like a perch.

I did…and he did!

Then the wildest thing happened — he walked all the way up my arm and looked at me!!!!

It was just like the way it happened for Wayne Dyer. I wanted to get a picture, but Drew couldn’t get one fast enough with his cell phone. Wayne Dyer thought his butterfly was his dear friend Jack. It even seemed to me that my butterfly could have been Daddy [or at least sent by him].

The reason Drew couldn’t get a picture is because, after a minute or so of being on my arm, my beautiful butterfly flew off across the street, landing in a yard. Maybe he was just tired (like me!).

9:29 
I mentioned Louise Hay’s landmark book You Can Heal Your Life. She lists physical ailments, the thoughts that may have been behind the symptom, and new thoughts to think.

13:35
When Daniela referred to the Reticular Activation System (RAS), I was reminded of the first time I came across that phrase. Of course I read it in a book! Henriette Anne Klauser’s wonderful book Write It Down, Make It Happen describes the RAS as a:

…filtering system of the brain. Writing it down sets up the filter. Things start to appear — it’s a matter of your filtering system.

If you have never owned a Honda before, and you buy a blue Honda, all of a sudden you see blue Hondas all over town. You might wonder, Where are all these blue Hondas coming from? But they were there all along; you were just not paying attention to them.

Putting a goal in writing is like buying a blue Honda; it sets up a filter that helps you be aware of certain things in your surroundings. Writing triggers the RAS, which in turn sends a signal to the cerebral cortex: “Wake up! Pay attention! Don’t miss this detail!” Once you write down a goal, your brain will be working overtime to see you get it, and will alert you to the signs and signals that, like the blue Honda, were there all along.

I love her book because she offers different methods and examples of writing our plans and goals to give us clarity and aid our manifestations.

18:00
I talked about Louise Hay’s book Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life. This book offers affirmations and journal prompts to help you re-connect with your true self.

20:47
I was discussing the energy you put out to the universe. If you’re obsessively thinking, feeling, saying, and writing words coming from desperation, you’re telling the Universe that’s what you expect to see mirrored back to you. I wrote about changing your mindset in my 2008 article Think/Write/Speak what you WANT into BEING!

In addition to the book linked in that article, I want to recommend Secrets of Success: The Science and Spirit of Real Prosperity by Sandra Anne Taylor. I read it in 2007 and copied these passages about obsession/desperation in my journal:

If you were to project a laser light through the hologram that is your own consciousness, what would that picture hold? What would be revealed in the front, in the middle, in the back, and all the way around? Would there be a confident image on the surface with fear hiding behind it? Would there be an exterior of optimism with an interior of doubt? If so, you need to know that the Universe sees your entire truth—every bit of it—and responds accordingly.

So if you’re visualizing meeting your perfect partner, yet a part of you thinks such a person doesn’t exist, then that consciousness of limitation overrides your specific intention and actually creates a stronger vision of lack (my emphasis).

If you’ve created the goal to attract a better job but you consistently doubt your ability to make it happen, then that failure-consciousness will move out into the Universe, projecting a dark void where no real value can come to be.

Your entire consciousness needs to be considered. You may send out intentions, treasure maps, and even prayers to make something happen, but all of that will go unanswered if it’s the only approach you take. Without a supportive consciousness, your individual desire will just float out in space, and your results will be hit-or-miss at best—or nonexistent at worst.

To get the Law of Manifestation to work the way you desire, you must consider the whole. It’s not enough to say, “If I only focus on what I want, then I’ll get it.” You need to support that intention with a positive multidimensional view of yourself. You must see yourself as capable and worthy of receiving—and perceive the world as abundant and willing to provide. You can visualize buying a winning lottery ticket all you want, but if you look in the mirror with judgment and self-doubt, your outcome will be consistently disappointing.

This is the holographic reality of manifestation: Your consciousness can’t create something that you’re not fully aware of deep within yourself. Your system of thoughts and beliefs is a driving force in the field of Universal intention, so it’s important to know that the value you seek in the external world can only come from a pervasive sense of value within.

If you’re always—or even often—focused on worry, lack, and unhappiness, then that is all that your consciousness can create for you. If you’re not aware at least on some level of the intrinsic value already within yourself and your life, it will be a constant struggle to create value in your destiny. This pit of self-negation is one of the biggest problems people face in trying to create a brilliant future.

You’ll see throughout this book that if you’re facing failure, this is usually the first place to start. Even if your self-esteem doesn’t seem all that negative, if you’re merely self-conscious or experiencing some self-doubt, or you’re just confused about your place and your power in the world, it can be enough to darken your energy and move your consciousness and your quantum psychology in a negative direction—and send out a holographic projection that attracts rejection.

35:57
I brought up Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. The 4 questions are listed in this interview with Katie, and she explains how they help you move to better thoughts.

41:38
I mentioned Mike Dooley’s courses and daily Notes from the Universe. You can view his offerings and sign up to receive the free, inspirational Notes at this link.

44:06
As I said on the Joe video, the Universe doesn’t deliver on our timetable and in the way we think things should happen. Since I used my house as an example of this statement, I thought you might like to see the house I dreamed about and the one I have.

I don’t remember when my dream of a Queen Anne Victorian house took root. I think even as a teenager I had pored over numerous books showing magnificent Victorian houses and subscribed to magazines devoted to Victorian homes. Starting on 11 May 2003, I began writing a house journal to describe my dream Victorian. As I came across or thought of aspects I wanted in my house, I added them to the journal.

My idealized house is pictured below. I affixed this picture to the tack board in my cubical for years during my IRS tenure so I would see it every day at work.

This second picture is my modern Victorian house, where we moved in 2018. It’s not the house I was dreaming of, but it is my dream house and better than I imagined in so many ways!

You’ll note that the architecture met my broad brush strokes with the turret and sharply pointed roofline, but this house was built in 2012 and has a spacious, modern floor plan; plenty of storage; central HVAC; and electrical and plumbing systems that are up to code! If you want to see the interior of the main floor turret room, head over to my Harp Videos page. My recording studio is downstairs in the back corner on the driveway side and is shown on my About Me page.

We replaced the front door with one that has a Victorian vibe. It looks like a vintage iron door but was made with materials to withstand temperature changes. We also recently painted the keystones and bricks over the windows to accent that feature. In addition, we painted the ceilings over the front stoop and back patio using the color that Southern Living called the perfect “haint blue”.

So, you see, even though the Universe didn’t deliver all the exterior details that I’d imagined, we’ve been able to make modifications to accentuate the Victorian characteristics. My HOA most assuredly would deny my desire for a “Painted Lady” color scheme, but I’m planning to request approval to make some minor changes to the façade, including installing a balustrade and railing on the porch and adding some gingerbread in the gables. We’ve enhanced the Victorian charm inside with ceiling medallions and our lighting and decorating choices.

62:09
Daniela asked me about my harp. The 5 points I discussed in my article Resonance between harp and voice-over are still true for narrators today.

When I bought a flute in 2017, I wrote The Still Small Voice. Audiobook narrators will find it an encouraging story to follow their own inner promptings.

I recently published the article My Life as a Musician, which includes a number of resource links that other musicians may find useful.

75:09
As I chatted about writing in my journal, I was asked about the type of pen I use. I actually NAMED the Taccia Paris Lilac fountain pen for the company! I told the story and showed the picture of it in this article.

Like I said at the beginning of this article, I love discussing these kinds of topics! I’d love to continue the conversation in the comments, so please let me know your thoughts!

The post Narrator’s Cup of Joe — Woo Woo Blend appeared first on Karen Commins.

I signed up for his Magical Mystery Manifesting Adventure, which began today. Each day in the 21 days, he and co-presenter Pam Grout will send an email with a secret mission of something to manifest.

When I read today’s assignment of a feather, I thought of a peacock feather. If you read my last blog post or saw this tweet or this Facebook post of a my picture of a real peacock, you might think I have a fondness for peacocks! I thought a feather would be unusual to find.

Drew and I were on our way to pick up something we had ordered. It was Friday lunchtime traffic on a major road that is always congested.

I saw we were about to drive by a flea market I like but haven’t shopped in for a year or more. It’s one of those places that used to be a grocery store but is now filled with several hundred vendors who sell everything from baseball cards to crystal chandeliers. Some of the booths contain so much merchandise that you can’t see everything and have difficulty even walking in. I fear one wrong move will send some precarious piece crashing to the floor.

I said I’d like to stop there. His first inclination was that it was too difficult to turn left out of its parking lot to get to the store. I said I had no business at the flea market and wasn’t looking for anything in particular. We should go on to our destination.

As we turned on the street by the flea market, I commented that we could’ve turned right out of the parking lot and gone only a little bit out of the way to the store. He offered to turn around, but I stubbornly said to keep going where we were headed.

He said again he could turn around because he knew I’d want to go to the flea market.

Reader, that wonderful man I married DID turn around, drove back to the flea market, and parked in front of the door.

I usually like to walk up and down every aisle, taking a quick look left and right to see everything crammed in all the stalls. I skipped a couple of aisles to avoid other shoppers and thought about leaving and returning some weekday when fewer people would be there.

I had not told Drew about the feather assignment.

We’d been through about 80% of the flea market when there, right at the aisle, was not 1 peacock feather, or 2….but about a dozen of them!

I then let Drew know the goal of today’s mission. He pointed out some MORE peacock feathers in 2 other places in that booth! I not only got my peacock feather, but in the abundance of the Universe, I was able to pick the one that seemed the most vivid!

The critical voice inside is saying, “The chances of finding feathers, even peacock feathers, at a flea market are pretty good.”

That’s true. Beyond my peacock feather, I saw 5 feathered boas in different colors and all manner of bird pictures and figurines.

If I only manifested the peacock feather, I probably wouldn’t have posted this story.

We walked up the next aisle, and I saw it — the antique golden oak wall telephone I have wanted for decades!! Of course, I’ve seen them many times and could have bought one long before now.

Today, I said to myself, “What are you waiting for? BUY IT!” I’m so excited to FINALLY fulfill this long-held dream!

But there was one more very unexpected thing that came home with us from the flea market.

Hanging on the back wall, almost hidden behind a display cabinet and flower arrangements on the table, was an old, cast-iron sign that’s about 2/3 the size of a license plate and about 25 times heavier. It reads:

SOUTHERN RAILWAY

QUIET PLEASE

AVOID ANNOYANCE TO RESIDENTS

KEEP YOUR ENGINE QUIET AND

TAKE CARE TO AVOID SMOKE

AND STEAM

It caught my attention and made me laugh as we walked by it. That’s good advice for all of us! I decided I needed this sign hanging outside my recording studio next to my Hush sculpture. It will make me smile every time I walk in there!

After today’s marvelous manifesting success, I’m really looking forward to seeing what happens in the remaining 20 days in the course!

Oh, and we did turn right out of the parking lot and got to the store in about the same amount of time as our original route would have required!

By the way, what do you think Drew found on our patio this afternoon?

A FEATHER!

The post Feather, Phone, and Fun appeared first on Karen Commins.

As I wrote over 10 years ago, in order for your ship containing job contracts to come sailing in to your harbor, you have to keep sending out promotional and prospecting ships into the world. But what happens when you don’t see any results from your efforts? It’s so easy to fall into a negative mindset, especially when it seems that every narrator you know is announcing on social media that they had scheduled work through the next 6 months even before they were just hired for a 10-book series.

I still am not at the level of success that I envision, and some days, the critical voice in my mind starts in on me about what I haven’t accomplished. I notice that mean girl never gives me credit for all of the things I HAVE done! No matter how circumstances may appear in the moment, the key is to push the doubts away and keep marching toward your dream.

In 2012,  Dave Courvoisier wrote candidly on his blog about a dry spell he was experiencing in gaining work. In this article, I’m including and expanding on my response to him.

First, it’s possible to want something so badly that your desperation to have it can actually push it away from you. I wrote about this phenomenon in the article Voiceover and the Law of Paradoxical Intent.

I can tell you honestly that it was only after I truly ACCEPTED my life as it was that things really started to move forward for me.

Second, the number of jobs booked in a time period is only one small way of measuring success. I wrote about 3 techniques for maintaining a feel-good mentality about your career in the post The feel-good voiceover blog post of the summer!. I write my articles for myself as much as for my audience, and this is one post that I often re-read to maintain balance and objectivity during slow times.

I cannot overemphasize the 3rd technique too much — STOP THE COMPARISONS TO OTHER PEOPLE! It is the single greatest act of self-negation that keeps us from our good.

In fact, when I listened to Rob Lowe’s most excellent narration of his autobiographical audiobook Stories I Only Tell My Friends, I heard a compelling reason to keep going forward with your dream. When Lowe talked about meeting an unknown LeVar Burton about a week before ROOTS was aired on TV, he said:

“It showed me how quickly the rocket fuel of stardom can ignite, how unimaginably GIANT the g-forces can be as you are propelled into fame’s orbit.

Looking back, I also wonder at the mystery of destiny and fate. I marvel at the mercurial forces of fortune and am reminded that one must be ever vigilant to stay on one’s own path, without envy of others.”

When I don’t know what the next step is, I just take one. It doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if it’s the best thing I could do at the time. It doesn’t matter if other people agree with me, cheer me on, throw spitballs my way, or totally ignore me.

It’s not about them. It’s about me. It’s about “staying vigilant on my path, without envy of others.”

All that matters is that I take that step…..because that step gets me one step closer to the life I’m meant to lead.

Law of Attraction

Shortly after I responded on Dave’s blog, I wrote the article Power of “I Am” In Maintaining a Positive Attitude. Whatever you put after those 2 words becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

A passage in the 12/15/17 Science of Mind magazine daily guide really brings home this point.

“Whenever a negative, demeaning thought is believed and allowed to repeat, it is a prayer. “I am [blank] is a prayer. This thought repeatedly spoken becomes a belief. A belief becomes a reality, a prayer answered. By repeating the thoughts, “I am not good enough”…or “Life has always been a struggle”, I am actually creating that reality.

One of our greatest tools is practicing discipline with what we allow ourselves to think. The reality is that you must first believe your affirmation to be true of you.

…See and know your good, then praise and embrace it.”

We need to keep thinking and believing that the success we seek is coming to us. What we think about expands. If we focus on what we think we lack, we will continue to experience more of the same lack.

Just because things don’t happen on our timetable or in the way that we would expect them to show up doesn’t mean they aren’t going to happen. They probably will happen and be even greater than we could imagine!

Just keep smiling, taking steps, and sending out those ships!

The post Antidote For A Dry Spell appeared first on Karen Commins.

The biggest problem is thinking of problems as problems. Successful people know that when you focus on problems you have more problems, but when you focus on possibilities you have more opportunities.

It’s true. Our thoughts and words have tremendous creative power in shaping our lives. In fact, in one of my first blog posts 10 years ago, I wrote that nothing is more powerful on this planet than the words you think and speak. Everything that exists now was first a thought in a person’s mind. Speaking the thought out loud gives it creative power.

Wayne Dyer used to say, “What you think about expands”, and “You can’t get enough of what you don’t want.” When we’re repeatedly talking about something with energy and emotion, we’re actually telling the Universe, “please send me more of this.”

That’s great when we’re enthusiastically and excitedly talking about our latest audiobook contract or marketing plans. However, the same principle is at work when we’re animatedly griping about the leaf-blowers in the neighborhood.

An army of leaf blowers is coming soon to your neighborhood!

I can’t count the times when I’ve read posts from audiobook narrators in Facebook groups in which they whine about the external noise from the neighbors cutting their grass, planes flying overhead, nearby construction projects, or any other thing that interrupts their recording sessions. The people bemoaning these (first-world) problems seem to expect empathy from everyone else. If challenged, the complainer would say he’s merely venting off steam with people who understand the situation.

I never respond to those types of posts. If I did, I’d say, “Quit your bellyaching, and DO something about your recording space! It’s not up to the world to be quiet in order for you to have a cocoon of silence for recording.”

Before anyone gets offended at my harsh statement, let me add that I have walked in the naysayer’s shoes. In order to solve my multiple issues with an extremely noisy environment, I replaced all of the windows in my house and custom-built an additional room on my house with soundproofing techniques.

More importantly, I don’t respond because constant complaining really goes much deeper and has a more pronounced effect than most people realize.

Have you ever noticed that, when you’re sick and you tell and re-tell the story about all of your symptoms to everybody you know, you feel worse with each telling?

When I used to gripe about people yakking loudly on their cell phones or children screaming in restaurants, it seemed more and more of them would show up around me. OF COURSE THEY DID! I repeatedly focused my attention and poured lots of negative emotion in my comments about how much those situations annoyed me! I had an epiphany one day when I realized I had been saying, “We are a magnet for obnoxious children” — literally summoning the very condition I wanted to avoid!

I’ve learned — not that I’m always successful at it — that I have to keep my attention focused on WHAT I WANT, not what I don’t want.

The loud children and cell phone talkers in public are still around, but my reaction to them has changed. When I find myself getting annoyed by them or other irritants, I speak out loud affirmations like, “I am focusing my attention on what I want, which is a pleasant, enjoyable dinner.” Almost immediately, the environment — or at least my perception of it — shifts for the better.

Frequent grumbling doesn’t just steal your joy (and that of others around you) in the moment. You can be setting yourself up for an unfulfilled life.

I’ll leave you with these profound thoughts from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear: 

Quit your complaining. It’s not the world’s fault that you wanted to be an artist. It’s not the world’s job to enjoy the films you make, and it’s certainly not the world’s obligation to pay for your dreams. Nobody wants to hear it. Steal a camera if you must, but stop whining and get back to work….

…most important, you’re scaring away inspiration. Every time you express a complaint about how difficult and tiresome it is to be creative, inspiration takes another step away from you, offended. It’s almost like inspiration puts up its hands and says, “Hey, sorry, buddy! I didn’t realize my presence was such a drag. I’ll take my business elsewhere.

…I have felt this phenomenon in my own life, whenever I start complaining. I have felt the way my self-pity slams the door on inspiration, making the room feel suddenly cold, small, and empty. That being the case, I took this path as a young person: I started telling myself that I enjoyed my work. I proclaimed that I enjoyed every single aspect of my creative endeavors—the agony and the ecstasy, the success and the failure, the joy and the embarrassment, the dry spells and the grind and the stumble and the confusion and the stupidity of it all. I even dared to say this aloud. I told the universe (and anyone who would listen) that I was committed to living a creative life not in order to save the world, not as an act of protest, not to become famous, not to gain entrance to the canon, not to challenge the system, not to show the bastards, not to prove to my family that I was worthy, not as a form of deep therapeutic emotional catharsis . . . but simply because I liked it. So try saying this: “I enjoy my creativity.” And when you say it, be sure to actually mean it.

Photo: Hector Alejandro/Flickr
 

The post Stop Complaining About Noise appeared first on Karen Commins.

Narrators frequently bemoan the fact that, instead of narrating the next book, they are spending too much time editing an audiobook because they can’t afford to hire an editor.

I’ve previously written about our words being a self-fulfilling prophecy and encouraged you to think/write/speak what you WANT into being.

Thinking or saying “I can’t afford it” is often a knee-jerk reaction immediately offered by Resistance to keep you from taking action toward the good you seek.

If you’re among the people who frequently tell yourself “I can’t afford it”, I urge you to do this exercise, which I first wrote about in my review of Fabienne Frederickson’s Mindset Retreat last September.

Write down 50 ways that you can make money RIGHT NOW.

All ideas are fair game! You can include anything from your personal or business life. Be sure to include simple ideas that already exist for you but you haven’t taken action on, like sending an invoice or cashing a check. You can’t stop writing until you reach 50 ideas.

The point of the 50 Ways exercise is to change your mindset from a defeatist “I can’t afford it” attitude to a problem-solving, victorious “How can I afford it?” outlook.

Once you complete the task, take immediate action on the 6 items that look most promising.

You activate the Law of Attraction with your thoughts and words. Your brain can’t help but believe the words that are coming out of your mouth. Whatever you are focusing on is what you will see reflected in your life. Joel Osteen says that if you want to know what your life will look like in 5 years, start paying attention to what you are saying about yourself right now.

The more you think and say that you can’t afford something, the more that thought becomes part of who you are. The Universe has no choice but to prove you right.

However, the reverse is also true. By actively seeking creative ways that you can afford something, the Universe will conspire on your behalf to help you get it!

When I did the exercise, I tried to make most of my ideas business-related, but I also itemized ways I could utilize assets that I already have, like using a credit card or selling things on eBay. (Note that you can also buy things on eBay, often at a better price than elsewhere and thereby saving you money.)

I noted ideas I had already considered, like directing other narrators, and some I’d never even thought about, like renting out my pool. Somewhere around idea #26, some really inspired and exciting business-related ideas came to me!

If you’re stuck for ideas, take a look at the $100 hour thread from the BarbaraSher.com forum, captured with the Wayback Machine on Archive.org. It’s overflowing with a variety of quickly-implemented income streams.

I ended up listing 57 ideas on my sheet, with a handful of them using some of Drew’s talents and skills. Several of my business ideas are GOLDEN!

Even though ideas love speed and a year has passed since I created my 50 Ways list, I am still implementing my 50+ ways to make money and quite thrilled with the results!

Last updated 8/16/21

The post How to Afford Your Editor, Proofer, or Narrator TODAY appeared first on Karen Commins.

Before I go further, let me say that I like Fabienne. I like her approach, and I like the results I’ve achieved with her methods. She always gives me some new way to think about things in my business.

I spoke with her briefly at the conclusion of the Mindset Retreat. She asked whether I would feel comfortable speaking on camera about the event. At first, I declined, but, after thinking about it a few minutes, I decided I would leave a video testimonial.

However, I didn’t speak on camera for her. I did it for ME. Speaking before a camera was a way to move out of my comfort zone and do something new. I also considered that experience as preparation for my October presentation at the Georgia Romance Writers Conference. I said something like this:

Hi, I’m Karen Commins, and I’m a professional audiobook narrator. You can find my audiobooks on Amazon, Audible, and iTunes.

I have studied the Law of Attraction, but I have not heard it taught the way Fabienne teaches it. She brings together concepts from a wide variety of sources.

If you’re thinking about attending the Mindset Retreat, I encourage you to give it a try.

As a performer, I’m already successful in my business. I’m just not at the level where I want to be. The concepts that Fabienne teaches work for all types of businesses.

I don’t know whether Fabienne will use my video in her marketing. However, I wanted to write a balanced review about the event so that people can make a more informed decision about its value.

4 Aspects That Made the Event Totally Worthwhile

1) Fabienne lives the Law of Attraction, pulls from a variety of sources, and teaches these principles in a unique and compelling way.

Much of the material covered during the 3 days was already known to me. While it’s always great to get reminders of these ideas, I did have several “Aha!” moments where I heard some things I hadn’t heard or read previously. Per my notes, here is one big revelation:

When you ask, it is given 100% of the time.

Most people ask for results and expect the result to show up.

We get confused because we wait for the result to show up.

The opportunity for you to get that thing is what shows up.

Opportunities don’t come from a person but through them.

2) The structure of the event forced me and gave me time to deeply reflect on how I want my life to be and how my life is going at the moment.

Fabienne would speak for a bit before giving us journaling prompts and 5-15 minutes of quiet time for writing. For instance, one of the first prompts was the Ideal Day Exercise. Basically, if money were no object and you could do, have, or be anything you wanted, what would your ideal day be like? You have to write as much detail as possible to visualize where you are, who you’re with, what you do each day, where and how you live, etc.

I first did this exercise in 1992 while reading Barbara Sher’s life-changing book I COULD DO ANYTHING IF I ONLY KNEW WHAT IT WAS. I’ve just about achieved the ideal day I wrote back then! It was helpful to write down a new ideal day vision because I hadn’t really taken that step and needed to do so. I’ve previously written about why it’s extremely important to WRITE DOWN your goals.

I originally was concerned because the chairs were set up in long rows without tables. I never like sitting so close to people that we touch shoulders or any other body part. I always chose an aisle seat so that I could move my chair slightly away from the one next to it.

In addition, being in such close proximity is a fast way to catch colds. Since my job is dependent on my voice, the risk of a cold is an even greater concern for me.

The room is set up without tables in order to accommodate the many times that we were also instructed to share what we wrote with other attendees. Fabienne encouraged us to talk with people we didn’t know. This tactic had the side effect of helping some people to gain much-needed confidence that they need to be an entrepreneur.

3) Through the exercises, I identified opportunities and subsequent concrete actions I could take to increase my business.

The subtitle of the event should be: You can’t get results from your opportunities if you don’t take action on them. This theme was often repeated over the course of the 3 days.

If I only learned and did 1 particular exercise, the entire trip was worthwhile:  

50 Ways to Make Money Right Now.

The point of the 50 Ways exercise is to change your mindset from “I can’t afford it” to “How can I afford it?”. You have to write down 50 ways you could make money. They could be either in your personal life or business life. You can’t stop until you list 50 ways.

I tried to make most of my ideas business-related, but I also listed ways I could utilize assets that I already have. I listed ideas I had already considered, like directing other narrators, and some I’d never even thought about, like renting out my pool.

Somewhere around idea #26, some really inspired and exciting business-related ideas came to me! 

I ended up with 57 ideas, with 9 of them using some of Drew’s talents and skills. I have already taken action on a half dozen of the things I wrote on my list and am quite pleased with the results! I wrote in my journal on Day 2:

Those 3 ideas [particular ones on my list] are brilliant! Maybe I wouldn’t have had them if I hadn’t come, so I will hereby declare the trip an amazing success!

I am really getting the importance of taking action on my opportunities. I [took 2 steps] before going downstairs at 7:40am. It felt good to take actions before breakfast.

4) I spent time analyzing my emotions and belief systems and re-learned ways to improve them.

Fabienne gave us laminated copies of the list of 22 Emotions found in Abraham-Hicks’ landmark book Ask and It Is Given, along with copies of several powerful affirmations. While I had read these materials in the past, I realized that I need to work with the Emotions list every day in order to maintain a true positive mindset.

6 Aspects That I Didn’t Like

1)  Many of the phrases,  pictures, and segments throughout Fabienne’s presentation are highly manipulative to lead you toward a decision to join her Client Attraction Business School (CABS). In fact, the whole Mindset Retreat is a “sell” for CABS. The slides are almost subliminal advertising.

Without a doubt, Fabienne is a brilliant marketer. She encourages everyone to market themselves “with authenticity, integrity, and love.” I’m just not sure that she always uses her expertise in this way.

During the sessions, she talked about joining a “tribe” and being part of a “loving, supportive community”. On day #2, the late afternoon session was devoted to an Internet live stream of 8 (count ’em, 8!) of her CABS students gushing about their successes after joining the program. The session was supposed to be “inspirational”, but I considered it more in the category of “self-promotional.”

I checked out mentally while listening to the first of the 8 people. I wasn’t feeling well, so I checked out of the room altogether.

I wasn’t in the room when the cost of CABS was finally revealed. However, another attendee told me it was $8000 a year.

According to that person, Fabienne said that you would pay $40,000 for the same education at a traditional business school. Like I said, Fabienne is a brilliant marketer, and the “comparative value” is a tried and true marketing technique. A logical person could evaluate the statement and reach the conclusion that you could take that same $8000 and get a college degree that would actually mean something in the work place.

That attendee was torn about whether to commit to that much expense. I told her that she could get the necessary marketing tactics and increase the number and quality of her clients just by spending 15 bucks to get C. J. Hayden’s fantastic book on marketing, GET CLIENTS NOW! (I was wrong. The book only costs 10 bucks.)

2) The 50 Ways to Make Money exercise, while extremely valuable (pardon the pun), was scheduled for maximum manipulative advantage.

The evening session on Day 1 was labeled as a “Bonus Session: Juicy Stuff”. Over the course of 46 slides, Fabienne talked about how the company you keep and your environment directly affect your income level and success.

She stated that we must study the people at the level we want to be and learn everything we can from them. I wrote in my notes:

If someone in your industry is doing better than you, stop resenting them and start looking at what they’re doing. Whoever you want to be like, be with them.

On the surface, that point is sound advice. However, it followed numerous comments about taking action on opportunities. Looking back in the context of the session and those to come, it seems a bit like brainwashing people as they join a cult.

She led us down a path toward agreement that we need to invest in ourselves and our business. Then, we were told that people use many excuses, starting with “I can’t afford it”.

We were given the 50 Ways exercise at 9:45pm as we concluded the evening session. Fabienne said we needed to have it done by 8am the next day. Even though I was worn out, I stayed up past midnight working on that exercise. I listed 32 options before I just had to quit and finally get some sleep.

With this exercise, Fabienne proved to everyone that they COULD find a way to afford anything, just in time for the next day’s opportunity to sign-up for CABS.

3) The 30 to 60 minutes we spent on the first day in the fund-raising drive to support a village in Africa was inappropriate.

It’s Fabienne’s personal cause, and I didn’t appreciate her using time I paid for to have this pitch be a part of the content. It’s not like we were at a fund-raising dinner where everyone knew the appeal was coming. It was in a section called “Unstoppable Giving” that meandered and morphed into this unexpected request for funds.

I have my own philanthropy goals and avenues, so I didn’t contribute to this campaign. I was astonished that the Retreat participants pledged a staggering $115,000!

Those committing money signed a Client Attraction banner. Fabienne showed a video of her taking such a banner to Africa. The banner makes it look like Fabienne’s business is actually donating the funding (and potentially taking the charitable deductions on taxes) rather than the many individual contributors.

Not only was I flabbergasted by the large amount, but that outcome was totally incongruent with the next point.

4)  The event is billed as “Mastering the Inner Game of Abundance” yet is managed as a conference for penny-pinchers.

Prior to the event, attendees could access a Facebook group. Most of the messages I saw in the group were from people looking for roommates at the hotel and shared rides to/from the airport. The rooms had double beds, and many attendees were staying in a room and potentially sleeping in a bed with people they didn’t know.

The sessions extended well into the evening each day. Day 1 had a session from 7:00-9:00pm and then HOMEWORK. Day 2 had a session from 7:30pm-9:30pm.  The last session on Day 3 was from 4:00-600pm, but many people had already checked out of the hotel and left the meeting by that point.

Why have a conference at a luxury hotel on beautiful Ft. Lauderdale beach if the attendees will never have the time to enjoy the beach except at sunrise and lunch? This question deserves a close look.

Ft. Lauderdale beach is a definite draw. Many attendees flew in from other countries. Presumably, they would have been less inclined to attend if the event were held somewhere less beautiful, luxurious, and exotic.

Once the people are there, though, Fabienne obviously has learned through the years of hosting this event that a large percentage of her audience will not pay the hotel bill for more than 3 nights. Therefore, she has to cram the most material into 2 very long days. If she dropped the fund-raising pitch and the self-promotional live stream from Days 1 and 2, both days could have ended at normal conference times, like 5pm.

One person told me that she didn’t have enough open credit on her card to pay the hotel. She felt hassled because the hotel staff demanded a security deposit of $300 because she had to pay part of her bill with cash. Not to be unkind, but I wondered why she was attending this event if she was maxed out on credit. Perhaps she would say that it was a leap of faith to be there so she could get in an abundance mentality and start earning income to erase her debt.

The attendees were charged differently depending on when they signed up. You paid more for the event as it drew closer. I would have preferred that all attendees were charged the same price.

5) The constant up-sell spiels for VIP Access were as frequent and annoying as Florida palmetto bugs.

Attendees could pay an additional $199 above the event fees for early entrance to the meeting room, reserved seat cards, a bonus Q&A session one day with Fabienne and her husband Derek, and lunch each day. Every communication about the Retreat included a “reminder” about the VIP Access.

When I registered and picked up my badge, the girls manning the registration table told me it still wasn’t too late to upgrade to the VIP experience. I said, “That’s okay. I’m a VIP as I stand here.” I don’t think they were too amused.

 6) If I never hear Katy Perry’s song Roar again, it will be too soon.

That song is Fabienne’s theme song. Don’t get me wrong — theme songs are great. I have used them myself. I didn’t even have anything against this particular song.

My issue was that it was PLAYED SO **LOUDLY**  that it could be heard in the next county! We had to hear this song — in its entirety — BLASTED at the beginning of each session, 4 times a day, so that Fabienne and the CABS students could sing and dance to it. It also was played during the breaks. Enough!

The post 10 Comments About Fabienne Frederickson’s Mindset Retreat appeared first on Karen Commins.

Perhaps it caught my attention because I have my own story about the quiet beginnings for a new business:

Date: 10/6/06
Time: 10:10am
Place: 10634, the cabin number of a cruise ship docked in Mykonos, Greece

Becoming an audiobook publisher has been a rough road, full of potholes, downed trees, and diverging paths that didn’t necessarily lead me in the direction I wanted to go. Only by trudging forward and refusing to give up was I able to eventually reach the destination.

I offer this post as a road map for becoming an audiobook publisher on ACX with a public domain book. If you want to publish a book still under copyright, you may want to skip down to the end for more information.

Initial Obstacles

I recently wrote about how ideas love speed. I did take several immediate actions 7.5 years ago when I had the idea to create an audiobook publishing company. I read several books that hadn’t been made into audiobooks and contacted the authors about obtaining the audio rights.

One author was interested, but the idea seemed to be squelched by her agent’s lawyers, who were reluctant to be involved with a start-up. Another author wanted to narrate her book. It took her several more years, but I see on Audible that she did narrate her audiobook. A third author was someone rather famous. I didn’t receive a response to my inquiries, but I see that her book is now on Audible, too. Perhaps I gave her the idea.

Life intervened. With the loss of my mother and changes on my day job, I put my dream of becoming an audiobook publisher on the shelf. While ideas love speed, some ideas can’t be implemented immediately and often take years to develop.

All the forces in the world are not so powerful as an idea whose time has come.

— Victor Hugo

With the advent of ACX, I knew that I could finally see this idea through to fruition!

Rather than start with a book from a contemporary author as I originally envisioned, I decided to start Jewel Audiobooks with what I thought would be a simpler project:  a book from the public domain (PD).

On 1 January 2013, I decided to publish the audiobook of The Heart of the New Thought by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, originally published in 1903. I wanted to produce a shorter work that would be new to audio and had a message I want to share. I often find myself in conversations about the power of our thoughts and words, so this little volume seemed perfect.

Detour: Public Domain Books Ahead!

Even though Audible has countless public domain titles on its site, I didn’t realize that Amazon/Audible/ACX had created procedures to discourage people from using public domain titles to create audiobooks.

They did have valid reasons for thwarting use of public domain texts. First, Audible’s customers have complained about paying for titles that are available for free elsewhere, such as on LibriVox. Also, sales — and therefore your royalty payments — may not be very high for a public domain work where multiple audio editions exist.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Before you start an audiobook project, you must exercise due diligence to determine whether a work is under copyright or in the public domain. The links I’ve compiled in this article will aid you in your research.

An outline of the steps I followed to publish my public domain audiobook through ACX is shown below.

1.  First, I created a publisher account on ACX and tried to claim the free Kindle edition of the book.

ACX is set up with a connection to Amazon’s book database. The rights holder must have a print or ebook edition of the title already listed on Amazon.

For this reason, I might choose a different distributor than ACX if I were creating a new audiobook from a public domain text. I don’t want or need to be associated with ebook publishing; I only care about audio publishing. If a book is truly in the public domain, a narrator can record it without making any changes to it. The narrator then will hold the production copyright on that audio edition. You can learn about 2 other distribution options in this comment.

When I asked ACX to associate the free Kindle copy of my public domain book with my publisher account so I could upload the audiobook, ACX support responded::

In order for us to accept your public domain title, you must upload your version of the book on Amazon. The title needs to be uploaded by you with a distinct introduction or dedication in order to make it your own.

Since they are set up for this 1-to-1 match of print and audio editions between Audible and Amazon, I could see why they needed a different version. In addition to the reasons stated above, Amazon and Audible are adding WhisperSync technology so that customers can switch between the Kindle and Audible editions of the text. Therefore, the editions have to match.

2. I then spent considerable time in creating a new ebook edition of Wheeler’s book with a personal introduction and linked table of contents to make it different from the existing free version.

As I explain in this comment, you do not necessarily need to create your own edition! If you want to request permission from a rights holder of an existing edition, you can adapt my email template. I’ve found that providing too many details such as discussing audio rights or “claiming the book” only causes confusion. If the rights holder wants to license their audio rights to you or doesn’t respond, you can ask a different rights holder or create your own edition as I have done.

If you do create your own companion ebook, formatting the ebook and choosing the cover are beyond the scope of this article. Plenty of resources exist to help you with those tasks. In fact, fellow narrator Andrea Emmes has created this fantastic guide (PDF)  that documents her approach and offers links to other resources.

2A. I narrated the audiobook from my ebook BEFORE uploading the ebook so I could fix any typos in the text that I found in the course of narration.

When I uploaded my perfect Kindle version to Kindle Direct Publishing, it was immediately rejected because it was not differentiated enough from the free version! The KDP form letter response stated:

We offer our customers free editions of public domain titles in the Kindle Store. In order to provide an optimal customer experience, it’s our policy to only offer differentiated versions of these freely available books…

We consider works to be differentiated when one or more of the following criteria are met:

• (Translated) – A unique translation
• (Annotated) – Contains annotations (unique, hand-crafted additional content including study guides, literary critiques, detailed biographies, or detailed historical context)
• (Illustrated) – Includes 10 or more unique illustrations relevant to the book

….While it’s possible that other features may make books unique, we only consider the criteria noted above to be differentiated. Examples of some features we do not consider to be differentiated include a linked table of contents, formatting improvements, collections, sales rank, price, and freely available Internet content. Please note it is considered misleading to customers to have your title claim differentiation when your book is not sufficiently differentiated.

3. I wrote to both ACX and KDP multiple times asking for a 4th way to differentiate a text — as the companion to the audiobook. 

Neither organization offered any accommodation. I also suggested that ACX allow the first publisher to claim the free Kindle version. That suggestion wasn’t adopted, either.

4. I found and bought 10 (count ’em, 10!) lovely vintage images from iStockPhoto to illustrate my ebook.

It took some thought and time to find appropriate images that could be inserted throughout the book and in places where they logically should appear. Simply putting 10 images in one place would not differentiate the book. Also, you don’t want them all at the front because that’s all a prospective buyer would get in the preview. I didn’t mind buying the images as I will re-purpose these illustrations to create a video to promote the audiobook.

5. I uploaded my ILLUSTRATED Kindle edition to KDP and was thrilled when it was accepted for publication!

I had to note the manner of differentiation from the free text in both the title and the first line of the description.

My ebook is now available for sale in the Kindle store. Yay!

6. I logged in to my ACX publisher account and claimed my edition, which was still flagged on ACX as being a known public domain book.

I clicked the link to claim the book and wrote the message explaining that I had created a different Kindle version.

If I had bought the audio rights to a contemporary book, I believe I would start with this step on ACX. All of the steps before now to create and publish a Kindle version were required only because I published from a public domain text.

7. WAIT for the email from ACX stating that your edition has been added to ACX.

This step is very important! I didn’t do this step and claimed my book as soon as I saw it on ACX. If I had waited, I would have known about the next step and saved myself some aggravation and a few days’ delay.

8. Fill out the title profile carefully. Choose whether to use exclusive or non-exclusive distribution.

I updated this paragraph on 8/19/22 because ACX has removed the requirement for non-exclusive distribution. You can choose either one.

When I published the book and wrote this article in 2014, ACX didn’t allow RHs of public domain works to choose exclusive distribution. In order to change my contract, ACX had to remove my title from the system and add it back, so, of course, everything I did had to be re-done, further delaying me by several days.

You also will need to choose your territories of distribution and enter information such as the name of the narrator, name of the publisher, and print and production copyright dates.

ACX provided some additional guidelines about public domain audiobooks:

• You can’t post the title for audition or contract a narrator to create the audiobook. The audiobook must be recorded outside of ACX. See this ACX help article for details.
• You can upload the audiobook to ACX and use it for distribution as long as your audiobook meets the ACX Audio Submission Requirements.

9. Upload the audio files chapter by chapter in the ACX interface, and click “I’m Done” when you are satisfied.

10. REJOICE when you receive the email from ACX stating that your audiobook is now available on Audible, and start marketing it!

When I started Jewel Audiobooks, it didn’t have a web site. It still doesn’t have business cards. I imagine many of the companies profiled in the Dell ad also didn’t have those things when they started. I look forward to the same sort of exponential growth in my publishing empire as Dell has had in computers!

Now that Jewel Audiobooks is a dream come true, I’m already planning the publication of my next couple of public domain titles. I’m also planning a follow-up contact about obtaining the audio rights to the first author in my previous search because I still would love to narrate her book. I think it’s another idea whose time has come!

Bonus info about publishing contemporary books:

In August 2016, I held a webinar so narrators could learn about acquiring audio rights for books still under copyright. My guest speaker was Jessica Kaye, who has over 25 years of audiobook and publishing experience as a Grammy-award winning audiobook producer, director, and distributor. She’s also an attorney in the firm Kaye & Mills and specializes in intellectual property, publishing law, and licensing. I wrote this article to inspire and encourage other narrators to license the audio rights to favorite books. If you’re interested in this topic, you can purchase the webinar recording, complete with sample licensing agreement and an exclusive list of links, on my Shop page.

8/10/21 Update

In the 7 years since this article was published, I’ve learned a LOT about producing and publishing audiobooks of public domain works! I distilled much of that knowledge in a video course called Create Your Own Path that I developed exclusively for members of my NarratorsRoadmap.com site. In the first module, I show how to find good books that may be in the public domain and research their copyright status. I discuss publishing options in module 3. As you might expect from the Queen of Links, I’ve added lists of specialized resources to accompany each module.

8/19/22 Update

In addition to the changes to paragraph 8 above regarding distribution, I want to add a link to my Public Domain Narration Headquarters. I link to my other articles about publishing PD works and answer Q&As in the comments.

The post How I Started My Audiobook Publishing Company appeared first on Karen Commins.

Wednesday 20 Nov., 2002 9:35pm on my sofa in front of the fire

Today’s word is disappointment.

I was disappointed to wake up and realize it’s only Wednesday; the preceding 2 days seemed long enough to be a week. I was disappointed to learn we did not win the lottery last night, and I have to go to work. I’m disappointed that my headache came back today.

The biggest disappointment, though, were the calls from [a potential client] telling me that he wouldn’t use me for the commercial after all. The regular talent will be back in town tomorrow, so, of course, she gets the gig.

I did make 2 follow up calls, and I sent 5-6 follow up emails. I guess I’ll just have to make my own luck. I like the quote yesterday in my 28 Days marketing book:

When doing business with the Universe, remember you must place an order if you want to get a delivery.

I think I’ve placed my order many, many times, so I keep wondering when it will be filled. I have to trust that things will happen in their own good time and when I’m ready. (I think I’m ready now if that makes a difference!)

Today’s Take-aways

These aren’t so much take-aways from the entry I copied as things I’ve learned about the Laws of Attraction and Creation since I wrote it.

1. “You can’t achieve victory if you’re constantly talking defeat.”  — Joel Osteen

“What you think about expands” — Wayne Dyer

We all have disappointments in life. Dwelling on them will only ensure that the Universe serves up more disappointments to us. I wrote a blog entry titled Think/Write/Speak what you WANT into Being that goes into greater detail about changing your thoughts to a more positive pattern.

2. When we place our order to the Universe, we don’t know WHEN or HOW it will materialize. We waste valuable energy worrying about the WHEN or HOW. Instead of concerning ourselves with those two unknowable things, it’s important to continue taking steps and doing our best each day toward our dreams. When the Universe is free to deliver our order in the time and way that is best for us, the outcome will be better than we could have thought possible!

The post TDIMH — Place Your Order With the Universe appeared first on Karen Commins.

• People seem more likely to leave a rating than write a review.
• Negative reviews seem to outnumber positive ones.

In looking at the negative reviews, some people actually gave informative feedback about why they didn’t like the book. Others, though, left mean and meaningless comments. I suspect that many people feel better about themselves when they can be critical of others.

Recently, I used my journal entries from 1993 to give you 4 quick lessons about finding happiness when you hate your job. Today, I want to use my journal entries to talk about how to deal with criticism.

In 1993, I wrote:

I can’t help but be upset and depressed, among other negative emotions. I endured another round of criticism.

[A manager] has insinuated that I am incompetent. These constant attacks are demoralizing and de-motivating. I don’t feel like doing anything for anyone.

When [my boss] brought up the subject, I felt pains in my chest, underarm and ribs. I’m sure the anxiety and stress I continuously feel causes these pains.

Never in my life in any endeavor have I been the subject of so much criticism. Throughout my career, others have always perceived me as being extremely intelligent and capable. These recent attacks hurt me all the more deeply since they are unwarranted. I know more about computers and networks than [management] will ever know.

On 8 July 2012, I wrote:

I was looking in that first journal I started in 1993. Every day, I was writing about all of the problems I was having at work. Some of the days I vividly remember just by looking at that journal. 

My [younger] self was very sensitive, especially to criticism. I can learn a lot from her.

The more she thought and wrote about criticism, the more it seemed to come her way. When she started standing up for herself and letting people know they couldn’t dump on her, she actually became more respected. Days at work became easier…

Looking back to 1993, none of the stuff that I wrote about made a long-term difference in my life. I solved problems. I gained self-esteem. I knew I did good work, and no one could take that away from me.

No matter what people said, the truth was that I DID GOOD WORK.

And that’s the truth today. I do good work in audiobooks. Not everyone is going to like my work.

They may say mean-spirited things about my work…Obviously, the naysayers haven’t caused people to stop buying the books…My 4- and 5-star ratings for performance far exceed the 1- and 2-star ratings.

I would tell my 1993 self to focus on the outcome I wanted and keep doing good work. That sounds like excellent advice for my 2012 self!

What changed in the 19 years between these journal entries?

Some people would say that things that troubled you when you were younger don’t matter as you grow older. Yes, that’s partially true, but I also have spent considerable time in consciously re-programming my mind. I continue each day to CHOOSE BETTER THOUGHTS and speak words in the direction I want my life to go.

The following quotes are especially meaningful to me. They help me remember to focus on the outcome I want to achieve instead of dwelling on any perceived slights or criticism in the present moment. I hope they may help you.

Wayne Dyer

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. 

In 1994, I changed my mindset to be “I’m only doing this job to get money and vacation time to do what I want to do.” That attitude shift was my first attempt to focus on the outcome I wanted. By focusing on the outcome, I was less swayed by events – and negative comments about my work – in the moment.

Barry Manilow

Don’t take your critics’ words to heart. What do they know, anyway? Forget about pleasing everybody, and play to people who like what you do. (paraphrased)

Barry Manilow could be the patron saint of the unfairly criticized. I remember reading an article in which he said that he would give a great show that the audience loved. He would read the reviews expecting accolades and would instead find brutal words from critics. He said the bad reviews would hurt his feelings and those of his fans.

He began changing his performances to please the critics.

Fortunately, he realized he wasn’t being true to himself and decided to compose, sing, arrange, conduct, and perform songs the ways that suited him.I find it interesting to note that in the 20 years that I’ve been following Barry in his 40+-year career, he’s gone from being a punch line to a joke to being referred to as a music legend.

He didn’t change. His critics did.

Joel Osteen

If somebody doesn’t like you, don’t take it personally. They are not part of your destiny. Shake off every negative comment spoken over you and reprogram your thinking. Your attitude should be “No big deal. They are powerless to stop the blessing on my life.”

You have to have a boldness. You can’t be insecure and worry about what everybody thinks. If you change with every criticism and play up to people to try to win their favor, then you’ll go through life being manipulated, letting people squeeze you into their box….Even if you changed and did exactly what they asked, they would still find fault.

While I am not a fan of organized religion, I like Joel Osteen’s messages each week. He always talks about ways to improve your own life, starting with the thoughts that you are thinking.

Theodore Roosevelt

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. 

Arthur Schopenhauer

We will gradually become indifferent to what goes on in the minds of other people when we acquire a knowledge of the superficial nature of their thoughts, the narrowness of their views and of the number of their errors. Whoever attaches a lot of value to the opinions of others pays them too much honor.

I wish I could say that I have read this philosopher’s texts. I actually heard this quote recently when listening to the audiobook of THE CHAPERONE written by Laura Moriarty and beautifully narrated by Elizabeth McGovern.

Mark Twain

One mustn’t criticize other people on grounds where he can’t stand perpendicular himself.

I have learned to shrug off criticism in audiobook reviews by remembering the following points:

• Each rating or review is just one person’s opinion.
• I do the best that I can in each recording session.
• With each recording session, my best level improves.
• I am happy with the audiobooks that I create.
• The publishers and authors are delighted with the audiobooks I create.

Do you struggle with taking criticism to heart? How do you deal with it?

Photo: iStockPhoto/Leontura

The post How do you respond to criticism? appeared first on Karen Commins.

Once upon a time…

I started working at the IRS as a teenager. Daddy worked there and encouraged me to apply for a part-time job on the evening shift after school. It was a data entry job in which your output was measured against that of your peers.

As a fast typist, the work was easy for me, plus I made more money and had a more structured schedule than my friends who worked in restaurants. I never thought my job there would evolve into a career, but I eagerly applied for every position that had potential for more money.

Given the procedures involved, the high number of applicants, and paper blizzard of job applications, jobs typically weren’t filled for 3-6 months after the announcement. I would apply for a job and then forget it (kind of like doing an audition today).

One evening, my manager called me to her desk and told me that I had a job interview. I think she ended this exciting news flash with something like, “Oh, and it’s 5 minutes from now, so you better start walking.”

I worked in a 1-story building spanning several acres. All of the tax returns for several states were processed in that building, so you can imagine its size. I didn’t know where the interview room was and, after several wrong turns on various hallways, practically had to run to get there.

Even though 3 decades have passed since that day, I still remember the interviewer’s face when she saw me.

There I was, fashionably dressed in my lovely tank top, overalls, colorful toe socks and flip flops, out of breath and probably a bit sweaty as I burst into the room.

She looked me up and down and most assuredly thought, “Um, no.”

She asked me a few questions, and my answers revealed my complete lack of knowledge about her organization. I didn’t even know which job I was being interviewed for! I’m sure she thought that if her other top candidates were as prepared as me, she’d prefer to leave the job vacant.

Someone else’s job “interview” story

I thought about this incident recently when I received an email from someone who bemoaned a mistake in an audition. That person kindly gave me permission to reprint their words here:

I am on ACX.  I made the mistake of submitting an audition from home with horrendous lack of quality and only put in the comment, “please let me know if there are issues.”  Ha . That must have been like comedy for them.  I did not get any comments.  So I have been making all the mistakes that teach me what to do next.  Still looking to figure out how I recover from such embarrassing mistakes.

 
I learned 3 things from my bad interview experience that may help you get past your own mistakes:

1.  You have to prepare for what you want.

Louis Pasteur said, “Chance favors the prepared mind.” In my case, preparation would have included dressing the part and being familiar with the organizations where I had applied.

However, a big part of your preparation involves learning what NOT to do. Like showing up for job interview dressed like a hobo and submitting an audition with horrible sound quality, we all have to learn some things the hard way!

Being in a learning curve is a scary place to be. The best article I’ve written about being in a learning curve is 12 lessons from Dancing With The Stars. If you read that article and absorb the lessons, you’ll find it easier to give yourself permission to learn and grow from your experiences.

2.  You’ve got to bring your A game.

My friend Dave Courvoisier writes an excellent blog about voice-over, equipment, and social media topics. He recently wrote an (Embarrassingly) True Story and the subsequent Feedback Follow-up in which he described a producer’s reactions to 400 auditions for a pirate voice.

I encourage you to read these illuminating articles as they offer a producer’s exact comments about the auditions he heard. In short, he felt most people didn’t make an effort to impress him or do good work, with half sending “terrible recordings” and others sending “laid-back and lazy” auditions.

The good news is — to quote George Eliot and a title of one of my audiobooks — “It’s Never Too Late To Be What You Might Have Been”.

Every day is an opportunity to grow and improve. As you learn more and improve, your A game is going to change.

You may have lost one chance to make a good impression, but you haven’t lost ALL of them. You have to shake off the negative thoughts and hold the attitude every day that you are working to the best of your ability. Your actions will follow your thoughts, so you might as well think thoughts of progress and victory!

And remember, people on top of the mountain didn’t just fall there.

3. Things happen for a reason.

Sometimes you figure out the reason, and sometimes you never do because it wasn’t about you. If I could go back to that blown interview, I wouldn’t change a thing. I learned something valuable that day.

I can look back at the closed doors in my life and see how they led to something better. I’m reminded of another IRS interview story.

In 2008, I had an interview with the multilingual office. I really, REALLY wanted that job. It would have been a promotion, and the work was something I thought I’d be very interested in doing. For some reason unknown to me, they were delayed in making a decision after the interview.

Meanwhile, my best friend Mike asked me to work on a temporary promotion for 4 months in his office in Applications Development. When I said yes to that opportunity, my life changed in ways I couldn’t imagine:

• I wasn’t selected for the job I thought I really wanted. It turns out I never missed it.
• I loved working with Mike again! I was his assistant manager, and I felt pride in contributing in a meaningful way to the organization.
• Although I had been desperate for years to get out of the IRS and into voice-over full-time, I actually ACCEPTED my life for the first time. Acceptance of your life is a key to moving forward.
• My original manager in Network Operations was incredibly generous. Since I loved the job with Mike so much, she let me continue working in Mike’s office for a year after the temporary promotion ended.
• Tax Exempt and Government Entities (TE/GE) is an IRS business unit that deals with taxes for those groups. TE/GE was one of our main clients in Applications Development, so I learned a lot about their organization.
• In 2009, I had an interview for a project manager position in TE/GE Business Systems Planning. They didn’t select me for the job.
• Instead, TE/GE actually offered a communications job to me! It was my dream position at the IRS!
• In 2011, the IRS offered early retirements to a very small number of employees, mostly in areas of communications and training. Guess what? I was one of them! If I had stayed in Information Technology, whether with Mike in Applications Development or my original job in Network Operations, I would still be working at the IRS, with no end in sight.

My life would have turned out very differently if I had gotten that job as a teenager. I love my life and wouldn’t want to change it!

When you know that things happen for a reason, you place less emphasis on any one thing that happens. This knowledge takes the stress out of any perceived mistakes of the moment.

Don’t dwell on those “mistakes”! As I discovered through my many IRS interview experiences, what we think are mistakes are often the catalysts we need to take our lives higher.

Image: iStockPhoto/PeskyMonkey
 

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