I can vividly remember feeling discouraged, angry, and upset about things — especially career objectives — that didn’t happen when or how I hoped they would, or even at all. I know I wasted incredible time and energy during my IRS years of desperately wanting the life I now have and feeling extremely frustrated about not having it.

Rather than making New Year’s resolutions that were quickly abandoned, I’ve absorbed and applied a few guiding principles and actions over many years. Changing my thoughts and words have made a dramatic positive difference in my overall happiness and throughout my life.

 

Guiding Principles

1) Joel Osteen always says, “We can’t expect victory and talk defeat.”

2) Wayne Dyer always said, “We can’t get enough of what we don’t want.”

3) These 2 sentences are openings to the broad topic of mindset. Manifesting anything we want in our lives starts with our thoughts. Saying and writing our thoughts sends them out into the universe and gives them creative energy. Therefore, it’s vital that we are ever vigilant to think, speak, and write our words in the direction we want our lives to go!

Also remember: However we fill in the sentence “I AM ___” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

4) In 2016, I saw a video of Mike Dooley, who writes the notes from The Universe. He compared the manifestation process to a GPS system. You have to enter your destination (a BIG goal) and then put your car in gear. Don’t worry if you’re going the wrong way because you’ll get guidance! He said:

Guidance will be forthcoming.
You’re going to quickly hear — perhaps over Barry Manilow – “Make a legal U-turn!”
And you’re going to hear that until you get on track.

Dooley said to adopt a mantra like “Every day, I’m getting closer.” He said you can get excited about the details, but don’t make them the end result.

It can be so difficult to stay unattached to a particular outcome and let the Universe fulfill your desire in its own way and in its own time. If you’re interested, I offered examples and many resources about affirmations, visualizations, and outcomes in Narrator’s Cup of Joe — Woo Woo Blend.

5) Wayne Dyer always said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

6) What you put out in the world comes back to you and in a time and way you didn’t expect. If I kept saying to the Universe with great angst thoughts and words like “Why not me? What’s wrong with me?”, that’s going to keep showing up for me. It’s an endless loop. You’ve got to throw a wedge in there to change that loop because it’s a perpetual, negative cycle. It’s a terrible act of self negation, because then you start thinking things like:

• Obviously, people don’t like my voice.
• People just don’t like me.
• They don’t think I’m a good person.
• They think I’m not reputable.

These thoughts have no basis in reality! However, concentrated focus on and repetition of them make them part of your identity! As Wayne Dyer, Mike Dooley, and other spiritual teachers/leaders have said:

What you think about expands. Like a cold, the more you talk about something and more emotional weight you give it, the more it becomes part of you.

 

Actions I’ve Taken to Develop and Maintain a Positive Mindset

1) During Kristine Oller’s Jan. 2018 webinar about mindset, I asked her how to break my habitual thinking of comparing myself negatively to others. She said:

• old ways of thinking were prompting my compulsion to check social media and make comparisons
• look at the story you’re telling yourself and then collect proof that the OPPOSITE of that story is true — find five pieces of evidence to “force your mind to become creative and flexible.”

I realized that I was using those posts to gather evidence in the old “not good enough” story! I would see something on Facebook which the inner enemy would seize upon and start re-counting for me the auditions I had not won, awards I had not earned, money I had not made, publishers I had not worked for, etc.

I wrote down 8 ways that my story is different and sooo much better than the one the enemy was using! Take THAT, inner enemy!

2) Celebrate my own accomplishments, not just on social media but in a real way.

3) When my brain wants to seize on something and get in a downward spiral over it, I repeat out loud this quote from Paulo Coelho: “Stop being who you were and change into who you are.”

4) Tell myself in the mirror each day all the positive “I AM” statements that I can dream up. Write them down and then think about them and repeat them out loud through the day. Louise Hay’s book MIRROR WORK is an excellent guide for this type of mental reprogramming.

5) Write a compassionate letter to myself and re-read it out loud as needed. I am a much harsher critic of myself than I ever would be to anyone else! My letter is full of encouragement and praise that I wrote as if I were writing it to another person. It helps to re-read it when that “little girl inside” thinks things are unfair. This idea is an exercise in the book SELF-COMPASSION: THE PROVEN POWER OF BEING KIND TO YOURSELF by Kristin Neff.

6) Change the second thought to one that makes me feel better.

It’s very low and very disempowering when I’ve felt hurt, disappointed, frustrated, and angry because I feel like I’m being rejected by the world and/or people don’t like what I have to offer. We cannot help that first thought. It comes barreling in, unbidden, and we’re not in control of that.

We are in control of the very next thought! We are in control of our choice of what are we going to do with that thought we just had. I choose to think in the next thought of things I wrote in my compassionate letter. It’s a perfect antidote because what we see on the outside is a physical manifestation of what’s going on inside.

 

The It Works! booklet by R. H. Jarrett is a good primer for changing your thinking to create the life of your dreams. I especially recommend you read Brad Jensen’s review even if you don’t get the booklet.

 

Wishing you radiant health, unbounded prosperity, and every happiness in 2026 and beyond!