Karen@KarenCommins.com

Karen Commins

Award Winning

Atlanta Audiobook Share-rator™

Away From the Mic

4 Ways to Find Happiness When You Hate Your Job

Does this paragraph sound like you:

I’ve had tremendous anxiety and stress on my job for over a year. Actually, I’ve been stressed out for much longer. Lately, I feel like I’m “on the edge”; I’m about to go crazy.

Or what about these comments:

  • I worked 13 hours today….
  • I have been exhausted all day and found it very difficult to concentrate at work….
  • I felt frustrated, overwhelmed, and burned out a good bit of today….
  • Just thinking about work makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I know what it’s like to feel all of those things because I lifted these sentences from my first serious journal, which I kept between March 1993 and December 1994. (I say it’s a serious journal only to distinguish it from diaries with the little lock that I wrote in as a child. I wish I’d kept those and written journals throughout my life, but that’s another story.)

I started the journal after a meeting with a counselor from the Employee Assistance Program at my job with the IRS. I wrote:

I want to think about things that make me happy rather than dwell on those things that make me feel anxious, worried, depressed, etc. 

I told the counselor, “I think this job is killing me.”

The counselor replied, “If you think that, it probably really is.”

The counselor said my relationship with my job/employer is unhealthy and destructive since I have been suffering from headaches, digestive problems, and an inability to get to sleep at night.

The counselor’s immediate answer to my problem is to find another job. I think I’ll try harder to do that very thing.

If you see yourself in my mirror, there’s hope!

This way to happiness!

I think many people want to leave their current jobs and pursue a voice-over career because they perceive voice-over to be a fast and easy way to make money. I’ve already covered the fallacy in this thinking in many other articles.

However, I found 4 quick lessons in my 1993 journal that may help you find happiness when you hate your job:

4/21/93 — [A fellow computer network administrator] and I had a discussion while in Nashville that we have lost professionalism in the eyes of others. The proliferation of PCs has caused other people to think that our profession doesn’t require special skills. [My boss’s] refusal to fund my classes only emphasizes that point to me. 

LESSON 1: Most people immediately think they would be happy if they could change jobs or possibly even start a new career. Before you make an irrevocable and life-changing decision, read the article Every passion does not lead to a career choice. You need to figure out what is missing on your job and in your life, as well as ways to get it in your life.

If you do decide that a career change is necessary, accept that becoming a professional in ANY category requires time and money to gain the knowledge, skills, and experience necessary for that line of work. Malcolm Gladwell asserts in his book OUTLIERS that 10,000 hours – or approximately 5 years of 40-hour weeks – of dedicated practice is needed for anyone to reach the elite level of his or her field.

Of course, you can become an expert in your field with less than 10,000 hours of practice. I can’t say precisely how long it would take. I do know that success requires more effort than a weekend workshop.

Based on my experience in switching careers, I advise people to start their new career slowly and in a part-time capacity while still employed in the first career. It takes the pressure off you as you gain the skills to be successful in the new career. You can funnel money made in the first career into classes needed for the second. Through it all, you will feel happier knowing that you are taking active steps to live the life you envision.

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7/12/93 – I did my first training session as a reader for the GA Radio Reading Service. I auditioned several weeks ago. On 6/30, the Director of Volunteers told me I had passed the audition. She said only about 35% of the people pass the audition. Since it consisted of 100 difficult vocabulary words, 2 newspaper articles, and a dramatic piece, I can believe the majority of people wouldn’t pass. 

LESSON 2: Even voiceover — a career based on something as seemingly simple as talking — is not as easy as it looks! One way to gain valuable knowledge and experience is to volunteer for an organization.

My husband Drew is not the first person to parlay his volunteer gig into a paid position. You can read his inspiring story in the article 10 Law of Attraction principles in creating a job shift.

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7/30/93 – The best thing that happened all week was seeing Barry Manilow in concert tonight! He was on his “Greatest Hits…and More” tour. I had never seen him in concert…I was so excited at my first glimpse of Barry….The more Manilow I hear, the more Manilow I want to hear! 

LESSON 3: Your career is only one aspect of your life. Find a new hobby that brings you joy. That joy will overflow into every other aspect of your life, including the job. If it’s an expensive hobby (like traveling to see 51 Barry Manilow concerts in 20 cities!), you’ll feel greater appreciation and gratitude for the job that funds the hobby.

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8/11/93 – I went to the [literacy] tutor workshop last night. They are matching students and tutors starting today. I’m anxious to get started with it. 

LESSON 4: This lesson may seem like the same thing as #2, but it’s not. Item #2 was to volunteer for organization to gain experience you need. Item #4 is to take the focus off yourself and your problems, and instead, help someone else solve their problem.

I’ve read that one way to achieve your dreams is to help someone else achieve their dream. You can help someone by volunteering for an organization or just in a one-on-one capacity where you see a need. Helping someone else helps make the world a better place for all of us.

Your career is a series of decisions and an evolutionary process. Your job may add to your happiness, but it’s isn’t the source of your happiness. You can CHOOSE to be happy every day, even at a job that doesn’t fulfill you.

In an upcoming article, I’ll share some lessons I’ve learned about dealing with criticism. In the meantime, do you have tips about staying happy? I’d love to get your comments on the blog!

Power of “I AM” in Maintaining a Positive Attitude

A positive attitude is one thing that people always advise you to have when starting or pursuing a voice-over career. You probably even think you have one. I thought I did….until I realized just how pervasive our negative thoughts and words really are.

For instance, in one of the on-line voice-over forums, we were discussing an audio recording technique. Someone made a comment like “I could kick myself that I wasn’t smart enough to figure it out for myself.”

We think and say things like that all of the time without ever realizing the negative energy lurking in our words.

That particular example is a double negation of self. First, the “kick myself” part could cause you to feel actual pain in your body. Your ears are listening to every word that comes out of your mouth. Your brain is processing those words and may interpret them as commands.

Some very common phrases that people use without thinking can cause mental or physical pain, especially when repeated and said with emotion:

  • Someone is a pain in the neck or butt.
  • I’d give my right arm for that.
  • That thing is to die for.
  • I am blown away by that.
  • That person is driving me crazy.
  • That situation is on my last nerve.
  • I love that person to death.

The “I wasn’t smart enough” part of the forum comment is the part I really want to discuss today. Saying “I wasn’t smart enough” re-inforces a negative belief system. If the person thinks they weren’t smart enough for one thing, maybe they start thinking they aren’t smart enough for other things as well.

When I’m around people who put forth such comments, I offer them a different perspective. I urge them to think and speak kindly of themselves. Rather than saying “I wasn’t not smart enough”, the person in the example could instead think something like “I had a good workflow but am happy to learn an easier way to do it.”

Vigilance is necessary when monitoring your thoughts. We can’t help that first, unbidden, unwelcome thought. Two steps are necessary to maintain a positive attitude after having it:
  1. Don’t say it! Saying the thought gives it a life out in the Universe. What you put out in the world comes back to you, probably in ways you didn’t expect.
  2. Think a different, BETTER-feeling thought as your next thought. This is your life, and your thoughts and words are your script. As Joel Osteen advises, don’t use your words to describe the situation. Use your words to change the situation.

Lately, I started to question whether I have lost my ambition or motivation. This negative thought only came to me when I looked at this blog and realized that I have not written a post of substance in 3 months.

It was bad enough to think it, let alone say it. Saying it gives it creative power!

When I heard myself say these things about myself, I felt bad. I felt discouraged. That’s what these insidious negative thoughts do — they make us feel bad and may paralyze us from reaching our destiny!

The bad thoughts and feelings multiplied even though all other evidence about my ambition and motivation told me both were in overflowing abundance:

If I had repeatedly said “I am not motivated” or “I lack ambition”, those statements — like all words we speak — would have become a self-fulfilling prophecy!

I’ve been writing this blog for 6 years and previously had missed only 2 months (August 2009 and November 2011) when I didn’t have at least one new post. Those missed months followed major life changes for me. When I really thought about my motivation and ambition, I realized I have not lost either. Instead, I’ve gained new freedoms I previously had only imagined.

I’m still adjusting to being a full-time voice actor and audiobook narrator. My new role means that I can go to breakfast, shopping, or to a movie with Drew any day of the week. I can take a nap any time I want. With another big change in my life, it’s natural that other changes would occur, like writing less frequently on this blog.

This picture recently was shared on Facebook and nicely sums up this post:


The key is to keep reminding yourself of all the positive things you are. I have been writing a growing list of “I AM” statements, like I am talented, I am creative, and I am blessed. I pull out the list when I feel negativity creeping into my thoughts.

As you might have guessed, the last 2 statements that I added to my list are:

I am ambitious.

I am motivated.

If you’ll start keeping a list of “I AM” statements and repeating them to yourself, you’ll find that you’ll have more than a positive attitude. You’ll have a positive MINDSET!

 

Where does the time go?

As the excellent voice-over talent says in this Staples commercial, “in a small business, it’s all you.”

I laugh each time I see this ad because I relate a lot to Dave these days!

The past 2 months have been wonderfully busy. I’ve done full production on 3 audiobooks; the finished time of each ranged from 9.5 hours to almost 13 hours. I also worked with my web designer in creating a new audiobooks site to showcase my work in this area.

With all of these big projects, I haven’t had much time to write articles here on the blog.

I am developing several ideas and expect to post a new article in the next week or so.

Thanks for your patience during my absence. I’d love to hear from you about your projects, so please leave a comment on the blog!
 

What’s holding you back?

This post will be short, but it contains one of the powerful lessons I’ve learned. It has taken me a long time to realize that my 2 biggest obstacles were mental and of my own doing:

  1. frustration about what I thought I hadn’t achieved and my perceived lack of time to achieve it
  2. comparisons to others and jealousy about their success (frustration’s wicked twin sibling).

The day job wasn’t the obstacle

For years, I blamed my day job for holding me back from achieving the success I wanted in voice-over. Sure, it was difficult to work 2 jobs for 12 years:

  • It was physically demanding to work a full day and then come home and do marketing, recording, and editing on evenings and weekends to further my voiceover career.
  • The job itself was mentally draining because I worked for 25 years as an IT specialist who was responsible for the end user hardware and software, computer networks, and email systems. I had a problem-solving job that required constant communication with the customers. This job also occasionally caused me to work late or on weekends, disrupting any other plan.
  • I wrote on my blog about my feelings of being a secret agent in both the day job and voiceover camps. Note my comment on that post about:

A) how to manage voiceover clients while working full-time, and
B) not letting fear and a scarcity mentality cause you to make bad decisions.

You may be amused at a journal entry about frustration that I included in this blog post. What I didn’t say in that post was that I was frustrated because I had the full-time job and felt the time spent there could be better and more enjoyably spent on voiceover marketing and gigs.

Be aware of the Law of Paradoxical Intent

The frustration and comparisons/jealousy are self-defeating attitudes that cause you to feel desperate and set up the Law of Paradoxical Intent in your life. If you only read one of the links I’m providing here, make it this one. It explains how the more desperate you become about achieving your goal, the more you push it away.

I’ve written several times about the negative effects of comparing yourself to others and ways to stop the insanity:

 

It’s all too easy to make comparisons to other people and then measure your success only on the income you generated in voiceover or the biggest name client that you have. The comparisons only keep you focused on a perceived lack. As Eckhart Tolle beautifully explains in the passage I excerpted in this post, since what you think about expands, focusing on what you think you lack will only ensure that MORE lack will come into your life!

Someone recently left a comment on my blog about their own frustration. My comment back to them is sort of the blueprint I’ve learned and followed to overcome the frustration and accept my life.

ACCEPTANCE is the key

Acceptance of your life is the key to being in the flow and receiving the good that is yours!

It was only after I accepted my life as it was — complete with the day job — in the last several years that things really started to move quickly for me. Part of that acceptance meant that I made conscious and continuous effort to be grateful for all of the many blessings that I received as a result of my day job.

I got a clear sign from the Universe about making the leap to full-time voiceover. I didn’t have to force anything to happen. I’ve found that if I’m forcing the solution, the outcome is not the best that I could have. You have to know that the Universe is always orchestrating the right action in your life.

I can’t say that I’m always perfect in maintaining the right attitude. However, my lapses to the dark side are more infrequent and last a much shorter amount of time when they do occur.

What’s holding you back? I’d love to get your comments about these thoughts!

Are you looking for a mentor in voiceover?

Just about every week, I receive email from someone who is interested in starting a career in voiceover. Lately, I’ve noticed that more and more people are writing to me and asking for a mentor to help them get started.

While it’s certainly a flattering request, whenever the word mentor is mentioned in an introductory email, I am flooded with a torrent of not-so-kind thoughts:

  • It’s all about their wants and not at all about me.
  • They haven’t read a single one of my blog articles (2 good places to start would be So you want to get into voiceovers? and Thinking about starting a voiceover career?).
  • I’m not sure why they think I am the right person to help them.
  • I don’t know why they think I should want to help them.
  • The person has no clue about what is involved in working as a voice talent.
  • They want me to tell them everything I know about working in voiceover as quickly as possible.
  • They expect me to invest my time in furthering their career, with my only form of compensation being my joy in helping them succeed.
  • They want me to introduce or refer them to my contacts and launch their successful career, similar to how a debutante is presented to society.
  • They want validation that they are doing the right thing, and all their dreams really will come true.

In short, the word mentor is so loaded with connotations that it makes me want to run in the opposite direction!

Of course, everybody needs help sometimes. It feels good to be able to help someone along the way and make a difference in their lives. I also know first-hand how fantastic it feels to receive key advice from someone whom you admire and respect. However, people are approaching the mentor question way too soon and in the wrong way.

After doing some research, here are 3 things to know about finding a mentor:

1)  You first must assess the kind of help that you need.

In his excellent article for the Huffington Post, Steve Blank points out this important distinction between teachers, coaches, and mentors:

    • If you want to learn a specific subject, find a teacher. 
    • If you want to hone specific skills or reach an exact goal, hire a coach. 
    • If you want to get smarter and better over your career, find someone who cares about you enough to be a mentor [my emphasis].

    When newcomers write to me saying they are looking for a mentor, they really should be looking for a teacher.

    My friend Bob Souer is one person in the voiceover world who is universally admired and respected. He is an exceptional voice talent who is unfailingly kind and generous to each person he meets. Since I knew he occasionally has chosen to mentor some people, I asked him how and why he decided to become a mentor. He quickly responded and graciously gave me permission to quote him here. His comments illustrate Blank’s 3rd point:

    The people I’ve chosen to mentor have each had their own story. 

    Some have been people with whom I had an established friendship, then (when I saw them struggling and thought I might be able to help) I’ve offered that help. For a few others, they’ve approached me with a specific question and after answering that question and after some further conversation, I’ve chosen to continue the relationship in a mentoring capacity for a season.

    Maybe the best way to describe the process for me is that right about the time someone reaches the point that they don’t need my help as much, someone else will come along who does. I have no formally established pattern and don’t plan to make one.

    In the 25+ years that I’ve been doing voiceovers professionally, I’ve been offered help more times than I can count. I feel a strong sense of obligation to provide help to others I encounter along the way, who need it.

    However, it does very little good to approach me and ask me to be a mentor because I turn down most of the people who ask. 

    Blank states that “a mentor relationship is a two-way street. To make it work, you have to bring something to the party… [be] “prepared to give as good as you get.”

    2)  You must identify your weaknesses and then research potential mentors in order to determine the person who is best able to provide the help you seek. 

    Steven K. Scott includes a terrific chapter about recruiting mentors in his book Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams: The 15 Power Secrets of the World’s Most Successful People. He gives a detailed, 10-step strategy for identifying and recruiting mentors. The strategy requires that you thoroughly research the potential mentors and be able to pinpoint qualities that you admire. When you approach the person, you will want to be able to explain how you would like to make their admired qualities a part of your life.

    Yes, finding a good mentor in the traditional sense can be a very time-consuming proposition. However, you can be mentored by many people in a more passive sense. Often, a voiceover teacher or coach may provide informal and occasional mentoring by listening to a demo or answering questions.

    3)  You don’t have to meet or have a conversation with your mentor(s) in order to learn from them.

    This thought may surprise you at first. Scott illustrated this point in a story about a woman who wanted to improve her marriage. She identified family counselor and best-selling author Gary Smalley at the top of her list of perfect mentors:

    She recruited him by reading his books and viewing his tapes…Reading Gary’s books and viewing his tapes was in some ways even better than meeting with him because she could do them at her own pace, taking as much time as she wanted.

    We live in the Information Age. No matter what your interest, at least one on-line forum exists to discuss it. Voice talent can join a plethora of on-line communities dedicated to voice-over, segments of voice work like audiobook narration or character acting, audio engineering, etc. These forums are populated with people having all levels of experience and are great places to sit at the virtual feet of masters.

    If sitting at their virtual feet is good, listening to them is even better. Whatever category of voiceover work (audiobooks, video games, cartoons, telephony, documentary, etc.) mosts interests you, you need to be a listener of that category.

    In her excellent article The Company You Keep, Barbara Winter points out that you should “study those who have done what you want to do” in order to meet with the greatest success. I had an epiphany when reading her wise words and wrote in my journal:

    With that in mind, I realize I need and want to be an active audiobook listener. I think the last one I heard was in Hawaii last year. [I immediately downloaded a book from the library and] will be listening to the phrasing and pauses as much or more than the accent. 

    I will listen to an audiobook every day…It’s another good way to prepare for the audiobook success and constant work that is coming to me. 

    Since that day in May 2011, I have listened to audiobooks while I walk my dog or swim.  I have heard 14 audiobooks and substantial parts of several more. Not only have I been studying and learning from the technical aspects of each narrator and production, but the avid reader in me is thrilled to be even more immersed in books!

    Whether you’re new to voiceover or have been in the industry for years, I hope these 3 tips will help you find the people who can help you move toward your destiny! I’d love to get your thoughts about the mentors you have had, so please leave a comment on the blog.

    Photo:  iStockPhoto/Shane O’Brien
     

8 Things I Learned About Voiceover From Ted Williams

At the end of each year, I review my journals to see what I accomplished. In doing this exercise for 2011, I found some comments that I want to share with you.

Just over a year ago, the media was in a feeding frenzy with news about a voiceover talent who seemingly became an overnight success.

You may remember the story of Ted Williams. In one day, he went from being a homeless person to someone who was overwhelmed with lucrative offers from the Cleveland Cavaliers, the NFL, MTV, Kraft, and other companies.

I might have been the only voice talent in America who didn’t write publicly about this story at the time, with the exception of this comment I left on fellow voice talent David Houston’s blog:

I am sooo glad to see you make the point that we shouldn’t spend time worrying about any voiceover career outside of our own! 

I haven’t commented on anything to do with this story until now. I am amazed at the time and energy that some voice talent have used this week in all the blog posts, forum comments, social media updates, etc. that they have devoted to this one topic.

The reaction in the v-o community has become like the people who sit around and endlessly discuss any TV contest reality show, particularly American Idol.

I choose to put my spare time and energy into the pursuit of my own goals and dreams rather than waste it thinking and talking about those of someone else.

However, I did write about the story in my journal. I was extremely irritated that so many companies wanted to attach their names to the story AFTER Ted’s balloon soared. Of course, they all had to send out a press release to tout their benevolence in making offers of voiceover work to Ted.

More importantly, and the reason for this post today, is that my journal entry included 8 positive things I learned from watching the video of Ted and witnessing the reaction:

1.  You have to believe in yourself and your talent before anyone else will.

2.  You have to ask for what you want.

3.  You have to persist and persevere through the bad times.

4.  Chance or luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

5.  You can’t be denied the good things that are meant for you.

6.  The power of video is an incredible tool for reaching your prospects.

7.  People who are labeled as an overnight success generally have been working diligently for years to achieve their new success.

8.  You can’t sit on your past accomplishments and expect to continue receiving offers.

Although celebrated voiceover coach Marice Tobias did not mention Ted Williams in her recent blog entry titled Moving Forward, her words seem like a fitting postscript to this entry:

Good grief.

Enough railing about the business. It is what it is.

Concentrate on what you can actually do something about.

Your delivery.

Too many reads just don’t hit the mark. Make sure what you are turning in will indeed stop people in their tracks.