Twenty years ago today, I was a computer specialist at the IRS. During a break or lunch, I looked at the Barry Manilow message boards on my personal laptop to see what was new. Someone posted an interview with Barry published that day in the Sydney Morning Herald.

One meaningful quote leaped off the screen at me! I immediately reached for the nearest piece of paper, which happened to be a notepad from work, and copied it:

I have never done anything for the money or the charts. I do what I want to do because I believe in it, and it’s always been that way for me.

I didn’t even listen to the radio back when I first recorded Mandy, so I never really knew what was going on, and I still don’t.

When you start trying to compete with what everyone else is doing, you’re lost. (my emphasis)

After suffering from comparison-itis for years, I wrote in my journal one day:

Maybe this is my purpose!
Maybe my biggest challenge is the thing
I was sent here to learn and teach.

While I can’t say I am completely cured from comparison-itis, I do have some techniques to keep it at bay.

Background

Sometimes our professional comparisons are healthy and motivate us to create goals and improve our performances, processes, and tools.

Unfortunately, many of the questions we might ask other narrators just set us up for unfavorable comparisons that aren’t useful.

Many of these comparison points, like the number of audiobooks someone has narrated or publishers they have worked for, are just arbitrary statistics. They shouldn’t be a measure of self-worth or success, but it’s easy to internalize them that way.

You can feel like you’re “not normal” if you can’t consistently record 2 finished hours per day, or you could feel “less than” if you aren’t booked months in advance.

Like your fingerprint, your narration career is unique to you. We all have different capacities for the amount of work we can and want to do based on our availability, interests, income requirements, lifestyle, etc.

The worst flare-ups of comparison-itis hit me when I looked at social media, which I still do more frequently than I’d like to admit. I could be having a fine day and feeling good about myself and my place in Audiobook World. Then, I opened Facebook, and would see…

“I just signed a 10-book series with my dream author!”

I have literally felt punched in the stomach or the sensation of my heart dropping when I unexpectedly saw such an announcement, especially when the books in question would be right up my alley, but I was never considered for them.

“Three new-to-me publishers sent me books this week! Persistence pays off!”

I would see statements like that and think, “I’ve been persistent for years. Why not me? When will it be my turn?”

A pitfall of online narrator groups and social media in general is that these sites invite the Comparison-itis Monster to take up residence in your mind and run rampant in your thoughts. As you know, people primarily show their highlight reels on social media. We don’t see the areas of their lives that aren’t so rosy or the behind-the-scenes struggles that came before the big accomplishment.

It took me a long time – too long! — to realize that, whether I see someone sharing a humble brag or simply some good news, my feelings about these kinds of comments from other narrators had nothing to do with them and everything to do with ME.

I resolved I would STOP THE COMPARISONS and, like Barry Manilow, run my own race!

Quotes

These 5 quotes about the negative affects of comparisons reinforce my intention to focus on my work, goals, relationships, and life.

Comparison is a cancer of the soul.
— Unknown

To compare is to despair.
To compete is to deplete.
— As I discussed in this article about competition, I saw the first line and added the second one.

We should never watch to see what another is doing or how he is doing it, for when we do this, we are limiting our own possibilities to the range of another’s vision.
— Ernest Holmes

We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated by purpose.
— Bob Goff

I will write what I want to write, without any worry as to comparisons with “Gone With the Wind.” A writer is only responsible to himself, not to the critics or the world.
— Margaret Mitchell

Tactics

Everything I wrote in Change Starts With Your Thoughts and Words — especially the 6 Actions I’ve Taken to Develop and Maintain a Positive Mindset — apply here. I offer 3 additional steps to help stop the comparisons.

1. Define for yourself what SUCCESS looks like and means to you.

2. Start a regular journaling practice to share your thoughts with yourself.
My journals help me see where I’ve been and where I want to go. I can write my thoughts about situations and people, make plans, and choose better thoughts.

If daily journaling seems daunting, you could simply write a gratitude journal every day. Some people like to do it as the last activity before bed or first thing in the morning to start your day right.

I’ve even seen journals that prompt you to write just 1 line a day. It’s a great way to dip your toe in the water and begin a journaling practice.

3. Have at least one hobby that gives you a creative outlet and sense of satisfaction.

Hobbies keep your mind from dwelling on other people or situations and open your life up for a richer experience. Not only will your mental health improve, but possibly even your physical health.

Instead of thinking about what other people are doing, I think about what I can do to continue moving forward.